Getting Specific With Your Feelings: The Key to Clarity and Growth

Sep 8

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I feel disconnected from my spirituality” or “I just feel off”?

I know I have. Those words come so easily when something doesn’t feel right, but they don’t actually tell us much about what’s really going on. They’re vague placeholders, like the headline without the article underneath.

And here’s the thing: vague feelings keep us stuck.

When we stop at “disconnected” or “off,” our brains rush in to fill the gap with stories. Maybe I’m not spiritual enough. Maybe I’m failing. Maybe something’s wrong with me. Suddenly, a small flicker of discomfort becomes a full-blown spiral.

But what if, instead of stopping at vague, we went deeper?

The Problem With Vague Feelings

Words like disconnected, off, stuck, or lost can be useful signals, but they aren’t actual emotions. They’re more like road signs pointing to something deeper. When we don’t go beyond them, we end up with vague solutions too, and no real clarity about what we need.

Think about it: how do you take care of “feeling disconnected”? You can’t. Not really.

But when you name the true emotion underneath, everything changes.

The Power of Getting Specific

Let’s take that example: “I feel disconnected from my spirituality.”

Maybe what’s actually true is:

“I feel lonely because I haven’t shared my practice with community in a while.”
“I feel restless because my practice looks different than it used to.”
“I feel sad because I miss the ritual I once had.”

See the difference? Each version gives you clarity, and points to a specific need. Loneliness can be met with connection. Restlessness might be soothed by curiosity and exploration. Sadness can be honored with gentleness, rituals, or even grief.

Getting specific transforms disconnection into direction.

How to Get Specific With Your Feelings

Here are a few ways to practice:

✨ Pause and Ask: What do I actually mean by that? Go one layer deeper than “off” or “disconnected.”

✨ Tune Into Your Body: Emotions show up in the body first. Tight chest? Heavy shoulders? Restless energy? These are clues.

✨ Name the Layers: You might be feeling more than one thing: sadness and frustration, or grief and relief. Naming them all helps.

✨ Translate Into Needs: Once you know the feeling, ask: What do I need? Connection? Rest? Creativity? Ritual? Play?

This process moves you out of the spiral and into empowered self-care.

Reframing Disconnection

Here’s the reframe I love most: feeling disconnected isn’t always bad. Sometimes, it’s just a signal that you’ve outgrown an old version of your practice, your beliefs, or even your identity.

Disconnection can actually be the doorway to evolution.

But you won’t know that unless you get specific about what’s really happening underneath.

Here’s the Takeaway

Your feelings aren’t here to confuse you; they’re here to guide you. But guidance only works when you slow down, get curious, and name what’s real.

So this week, notice when you use vague words like disconnected, stuck, or off. Then ask yourself: What do I actually mean? What am I really feeling?

You might be surprised at the clarity that comes.

✨ Journal Prompt:
“When I say I feel disconnected, what do I actually mean? What emotion is underneath that? And what is this feeling pointing me toward?”