How to Stay Active & Connected During Overwhelming Times
We’re all feeling it: overwhelm, guilt, grief, anger, helplessness, urgency, and this undercurrent fueled by continual cortisol running through our systems.
The very last thing that feels important is talking about our businesses. Who cares about cute ceramic animals, coaching services, or nutrition advice when we’re watching someone be killed, again, right in our social media feeds?
Make no mistake, this is collective trauma. And a very normal response to this trauma is “How do I live my life normally while everything feels like it’s burning?”
Seriously, this is a valid question and one that shows you’re led by empathy and concern for your neighbor. You’re the kind of person that Mr. Rogers would be proud of.
You want to stay informed without being emotionally flooded.
You want to help without being exhausted.
You want to make sure that what you do matters and isn’t just adding noise.
History tells us that this is a long game. We’re in a marathon, not a sprint that will be over in a couple of weeks. So your nervous system regulation needs to be a priority.
We live with rapid news cycles, AI-generated content (it’s hard to tell what’s real), constant exposure to domestic and global suffering (Gaza hasn’t stopped being a warzone just because we’re looking at Minneapolis), and the algorithms are designed to keep us activated. Because when we’re actively engaged, we stay on the platform longer, and we might spend more money while we’re there.
Our nervous systems aren’t designed for this 24/7 crisis awareness. We’re witnessing trauma without any sort of agency in the matter. At best, we get a quick trigger warning before something horrific pops up on screen.
This can lead us to be in a state of hyper-vigilance, freeze or shutdown, and a continual rage/despair cycle.
You don’t have to be stuck in this constant activation cycle in order to be aware and be active.
If you’ve read my book, you know I have an entire chapter dedicated to shame and its role in burnout. Shame travels on the unspoken rules that you might be carrying around:
If I rest, I don’t care.
I have it so much better - I should feel grateful.
If I’m not posting, donating, sharing, I’m complicit.
If I feel joy, I’m being insensitive.
This leads to empathic and energetic burnout and a state of collapse instead of sustained engagement.
Before I continue, I am going to come out and say, if you have a platform, NOW is the time to say something. But, you don’t have to post every day.
You won’t help anyone by destroying your nervous system or your health.
What Showing Up Really Means
We’re told to “show up” in some form, but what does that really mean? How do we do it? Rather than give you a long tutorial about showing up for a cause, let’s break it down into three different categories:
Low capacity days, medium capacity days, and high capacity days.
Embodied Regulation: Action for Low-Capacity Days
You’re a resourced, empowered human. You know when you wake up where your capacity lies, and on those lowest capacity days, when you’re feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, or sad, here are a few ideas for action:
Limit your news intake intentionally. This might mean tuning out of social media for a while.
Practice grounding. Breathing exercises, meditation, walking in nature without technology coming along - all these help you ground.
Move your body. Don’t try to get a hard, fast workout in. When you’re stressed, you need slower, intentional movement, not a HIIT workout.
Stay embodied instead of dissociating. This looks like acknowledging the emotions you’re feeling, naming them, and allowing yourself to process them.
We’re living in a time when we must look into the darkness. Doing so from a regulated place means you can do something about it when the darkness looks back.
Relational Presence: Action for Medium-Capacity Days
We heal and grow with each other. So, forget all of that colonialism “rugged individualism” rhetoric and connect with other people on your medium capacity days. This can look like:
Checking in on friends. Send a voice note or invite a friend to an impromptu coffee. Connect over current events and regular-degular life stuff.
Have real conversations. Make space for your whole self and all the emotions you’re feeling. In your business, this may look like holding space for a friend, colleague, or client. It might also look like having a frank conversation that turns into a YouTube video or IG Reel.
Being emotionally available without fixing. We want to “fix” things, and sometimes the value is not in finding a solution but in sharing and relating with someone else. You don’t have to have all the answers to provide yourself and someone else with a meaningful vent session.
External Action: Action for High-Capacity Days
When your energy is high, and you’re able to turn your attention fully outward, this is the prime time for:
Donating
Volunteering
Calling/writing/emailing your representatives
Sharing resources with intention
Supporting your clients, team members, and colleagues with actionable ideas they can implement in their own lives.
Here’s the cool thing: Even though capacity levels change day by day, you don’t have to stick to just one lane here. You may decide that even on your lowest capacity days you can write to your representatives. Maybe supporting your clients happens on all capacity days, but your biggest creation days for your podcast/blog/newsletter are reserved for high capacity moments.
Now Let’s Talk About Boundaries
Boundaries are guidance for yourself on how to interact with the rest of the world. If you have no boundaries around media consumption, volunteer hours, or even your compassion, you will burn out.
Your boundaries may look like:
I check the news once a day.
I don’t argue with people on the internet.
I don’t consume content right before bed. ← This one is highly recommended!
I choose one cause to focus on deeply instead of all of them.
Boundaries help you say no to certain demands so you can say yes to the ones that are most important. And I’ll tell you what, we can’t all do all the same things. We need people working the phone lines and writing letters just as much as we need people out in the street. There’s room for everyone in the revolution.
Boundaries are also how we combat compassion fatigue, because my friend, when we cease to care, the bad guys win. Our boundaries help us remain present in our actual lives: lives that still include business plans, school pickups, soccer practice, snow days, vet visits, paying bills, dinner plans, and more.
Two Things Can Be True at Once
The world can be overwhelmingly sad AND beautiful at the same time.
It can be devastating to watch someone else be gunned down in the street and joyful to welcome a new baby into the family.
Our human existence is far more dynamic than Hollywood would have us believe. Joy is not denial, and beauty does not erase suffering.
Laughter, art, ritual, nature, and friendship are regulating, grounding forces that we need in our lives.
Historically, joy has always existed alongside resistance. Just look at the Portland Frogs for inspiration!
Joy keeps us human in these inhumane times.
Strength Looks Different for Us All
Right now, strength looks like staying connected, regulated, and human. How that plays out for you is as unique as you are.
You don’t have burn yourself out trying to keep the world warm. Share what you can, when you can. Volunteer with local organizations - because support is needed everywhere. Write your representatives. Donate funds when you can. And remember that any positive activism is better than no action.
I love you.